Recently it was brought to my attention that there existed a network of computers that, for the past decade, has brought this world together closer than it has ever been. I have been told that this concept, evidently codenamed "the internet," henceforth referred to as, "the internet," was created decades ago in a college bathroom, by a group of virgins who would later commit suicide after hearing the abnormality known as "Tarzan Boy" by the twink Italian group Baltimora.
My name is Morgan Butters Acciardi. I was brought into this world in the form of an infant domesticus siamese, better known to you miniature-sized-reproductive-organ-bearing simpletons as a "pwetty Siamese kitty." Bah.
My objective on this Earth is to the point. I am to figure out the workings of this world; the minds of these human anti-Christ's who would rather fornicate for oil and wealth over well-being; and, of course, why I am attracted to small plastic spherical objects that contain metal ornaments known as "bells." This is my journal, my personal diary of things I have noticed in my time here on the planet known as Earth.
I will utilize "the internet" to bring forth my message to my followers. I was forewarned by several undercover agents in the field that there is a vast amount of photography concealed in this network involving human females baring no more than a pair of socks and various phallic shaped objects. They told me to stray away from such imagery, but I personally am enticed to look further in to this endeavor.
I end my syllabus for this journal with an anecdote:
"My journey to discover the truth of this world may not be simple, nor fun, though I have but only one plan - to emerge victorious, in the paws of my forefathers."This is Morgan.
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